Recently my sis in law has come back after her long leave.. my son of 3 years has totally changed seeing his aunt.. since she is at home now, i leave my son with her when i am at work.. Your girl is acting this way because she loves you and needs you, not the opposite! I started wearing lavender lotion every time i saw her, trying in some way to create a bond. She goes to everyone and she does not seem to miss me if i am not around. Offensively taken, it means that im not a good mother!? She is neither excited when I get home nor unhappy when I leave in the morning. please give me some advice. He also loves his father and grandmother. wont she not even a day look out for me. In my observation some babies who dont do this have mothers who dont hold them a lot and are less responsive but not always. 6 wk old son doesn't like me (his mother) by: Anonymous. You know, we have to accept it, applaud their development and let them go. If you can work part-time, do so. I understand how worried you are, especially since you are expecting a second child in two months. The sun will rise tomorrow, and tomorrow is a fresh start. Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. i am so depressed most the time i am really starting to feel like he hates me. He gets really upset when Daddy leaves the room. And I was the one at home. The child speaks to everyone on the phone but once she hears its her mother she goes hysterical. 1. And as being the preferred caretaker at the moment, your mom can help you a lot by firmly handing over your daughter to you at certain points. I love him so much and have never felt so hurt or rejected. But from what you write, it sounds like this is a fairly new thing? they dun even let me held my gal after my day of wrk. I dont know what to do. Heartbreaking! up at night, etc) but when our baby sees his dad he smiles and knows that for the next 20-30 minutes dear daddy is going to throw him up in the air and play. When you spend time with your baby, make it 'quality' time . for a couple of hours, she just hugged me while eyeing him and after accepting the fact that daddy was really there in person, she just went 2 daddy like he never left. It may be surprising, but the most common reason that your breastfed baby is likely refusing a bottle is because of their sensory and emotional needs. Then when my mother-in-law came to pick him up so I could go to work and I tried to give him a kiss he wouldnt let me and he hit me in the face and cried when I tried to give and hug and hold him he cried. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. Those five weeks where he preferred his daddy over me where the hardest things Ive had to face since becoming a mum. Dont have a help in the house because my mil doesnt let me keep one. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. Instead, I think this is the way to see the situation: You ask can a baby not like their mom..? Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. Ive struggled with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicidality, anger and low self-esteem my entire life. Take days of vacation or maternal leave, ask your mom to bring your daughter to your work for lunch, work from home, let go of as many of your chords as you can or do them together with your daughter, co-sleep with her, talk to her, bathe with her, sing to her. It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? My 20 month old is very particular to the fact that he doesnt need me! Or maybe it is related still not your fault. In fact she would scream and cry I will always take her out of her room and try to pacify her. What is wrong with me? She has now outgrown the reflux but has become a very fussy feeder.Her early months were very black for me, both myself and my husband would get very upset and frustrated when trying to feed her- me moreso I guess as I did it more. Use a different bottle or nipple flow 6. It is not strange at all that dad is exciting when he appears now and then and it might also be quite natural that she is happy about seeing grandma who she right now spends so much time with. For quite some time now (actually since my daughter was about 3 months old) Ive had this very same concern that my daughter does not love me. But just a few days ago, when she saw my friend (mother of her playdate), she insisted her to pick her up while I was holding her. Your daughter is going through her first life crisis adapting to the new situation. While the rate for men with children under 18 hovered between 92.2% and 95.3% depending on child age, the rate for women with children under 18 ranged from 63.8% and 77%. Instead of turning your relationship into a power struggle, (trying to make him say mommy, for example), be proud of how much you have helped him to grow already! my husband always gets out and travel, but when he gets home, my boys are so excited to see him. Well, disobeing the court orders she left with the child to another state without any communication or notice of where she was going. Is there anything i can do to help them bond? It started off with biting and scratching and now she is hitting me. 8) Life is hard for everyone, working moms included. Do you hug, cuddle, and laugh together? Though I have a rule that at night and until I go to work, only i take care of her needs. I cant imagine how hard it must be to have lived with this with your daughter for years. Hopefully Ill be able to post later and say that things are different. I have to try to remember that she is completely egocentric and has no awareness that I have feelings nevertheless I am finding myself in tears more often than not. You know, she is way too young to be that rancorous. you cant help it. I couldnt see it coming and this is my first child, I love him very much, but this reaction I get from him is very unpleasant and hurtful to me. She wants to be with anyone else in the house except me. nw i think my gal dun wants me . she would change his clothes without asking me and constantly hold him all day, the past few months all he wants is her he reaches out whenever he sees her or will start crying if i dont give him 2 her. This is painful, really painful. Please help! Hope this gives someome some encouragement Things really do get better with time. It doesnt work! But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . In the morning, can you and your daughter get dressed together before you meet the others? How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? This could change any day. Well, it of course depends on the situation; if the mom and baby live together and have had the possibility to develop a bond, and so on. If she reaches for her dad or someone else, let her go without showing your pain. going to bed, having her diaper changed, eating (weve had problems with her wanting to eatanother issue entirely), etc.). She is not a competitor and never will be only you are his mom! sometimes I sit and think i should just give her to her father. Yesterday, Xmas day, he passed the whole day following her everywhere! Since I read your post I have been praying for you every day. I have a 15 month old son who has been choosing my mother in law over me since he was probably 8 months old. This is probably one of the most important things that helps to deal with working mom anxiety. I dont usually do online chatting, but I needed to get this off my chest. Try to let her keep it any way you can (but not on the phone for such a little girl). It took effort from all of us to get to where we are now, but forgiving each other and moving on as responsible adults to give our boy a good life, is one of the best things Ive done in my life.). i want to know if this is normal or just a phrae shes going through. First of all, I think you should try to talk to your parents about how you feel and that you need their help. As there are lots of conflicting priorities, it is hard to say when it is the right time. Help! Even if hes holding her and I try to give her a kiss, she turns away and gets upset. Help . She seems to have the same behavior with my wife too. Her father does go out a lot with her on his days but I do not drive and all we do is stay at home. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. when were alone its great but as soon as he sees her he acts like thats his mom. Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. I used to have a very tight relationship with my parents. Very hopeful! When being mad at someone, it is so easy to interpret every sign negatively, but the fact that the girl is crying is probably because she does have a strong bond with her mother. I still want my mommy on bad days. grandma was kinda showin me the ropes and showin me some tricksi also do alot of running around during the day so grandma watches her.now, when i have her and she gets upset she screams for mme. Try to not show any hurt feelings if she goes to her grandma; she obviously isnt doing it to hurt you and may become quite confused if she can sense your irritation when it happens. I have not seen the same reaction for me. Dont worry. I feel like why I didnt die when she was born. That way, you will keep making enough milk and will be less likely to get plugged ducts or engorged breasts. Paula, Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. To start, focus on playing and engaging with him in a fun, even nonsensical way. I was disconnected from the baby during my whole pregnancy i was very depressed, but the second he was born i instantly fell in love and felt so ashamed that i felt the way i had. I wonder why this isnt written about or talked about more widely. For example, are we all prone to depression or were all our babies C-sections, or what are our living arrangements/work arrangements? I want her to love me again! I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. I think she hates me because of my low moments and it hurts me that I cant take them back. I feel like a bad mom. I feel like Im only good for her when she needs a diaper changed. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. Yes, I believe he should be happy, but I stop him from doing things that will lead to undesired future habits and behaviors. My 3 year old seems to resent her dad. We have great fun when its just the two of us, playing and laughing. I often feel that I could leave any day, never to return and my daughter would never notice. I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. I have returned to work since and he always cry when I carry him? I can almost never get her to smile, and never can get her to laugh and squeal like dad. I always thought it was because I am a working mum but it seems that even stay home mums have this problem. Because I was in a very bad place myself over this issue, I understand your pain and encourage you in the strongest terms to get support for yourself. I am prone to mild depression and can be a bit of a hermit sometimes. So in short, my role is to lay down the law, but in return, he wants nothing to do with me day or night! Mom of two and creator of Mindful Return, an e-course and blog for moms heading back to work after baby, this woman knows her subject. It breaks my heart Ive cried many times!! Feed your milk to your baby. I am so sad. During these 15 minutes, focus only on your son and on showing him interest and love. Most times I doubt she even knows that I am her mother. Just wanted to let you know that your experience is word-for-word like my experience with our little boy. but Ive become hardened to it. I know that nobody is going to want to hear this but your relationship with your child might never be the same if you just ignore it. she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). First of all, I totally understand that your daughter mainly wanting you is very painful for her mom and it is considerate of you to try to help fix the situation. my daughter is now one year old and our bond has strengthened. At this, understanding and accepting a no simply is beyond her. I dont want this to have any lasting affects on our long term relationship. I do each and every work for her. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. Some babies who take a bottle early . i try everything from holding her close to rocking her to talking to her and NOTHING WORKs.i then give her to grandma and she is quite and happy almost immediatly. I hear a lot of guilt in what you write. This is apparently common and it is only frustrating when some outsiders try to make you feel bad about it (they usually have no kids or they are judgmental). Tonight is especially bad, he pushed me aside to get to my mom. I want to know if there are commonalities that us moms share. there was even one night where she pushed me away and tried to crawl away when i got near. Am a single mum living with my parents. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. At the moment we are living in India with my husband and his parent, my son seems to be attached to them more than me. And I really hope that this is just a phase that she is going through. Now, my son doesnt seem to even want me in the room with him any more. Consider using an Supplemental Nursing System to supplement. If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . Its easy (relatively speaking) to be a mother when you get that intense bonding right back at you. Now at 10 months old, she treated me with the same fondness and love that she had showed my husband during her early months. Take care of yourself during this time. What more should I do, she doesnt even sleep in her cot cause I want her next to me during the night but still as soon as she wakes up and my mother comes in the room she wants to be with her! I work the whole day so hard for my daughter. There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. there babys there used to those that give them there needs and time and attention Im going on my 3rd baby and what i find affective is how the care provider response when you get there Im always excited and hug and kiss daddy when he is home and thats how my children respond they love daddy but when they want or need something its always mommy and believe me some time i want it to be daddy, MY YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREFERS ANYONE BUT ME, EVEN THO I BREAST FEED, AND DO EVERYTHING FOR HER IN GENERAL, I TRY NO TO SPOIL HER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY DAUGHTER, GRAND DAUGHTER, NICE AND SO ON I NEVER HAD A POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION SO IT CANT BE THATIM LAID OFF SO IM WITH HER 24/7 NO ONE HAS EVER BABY SET HER I DONT HAVE MY PARENTS NEAR OR ANY FAMILY, BUT MY HUSBAND FAMILY COME OVER AROUND TWICE A WEEK I ALWAYS WANTED HER TO BE OPEN WITH PEOPLE AND NOT TO BE SHY SO I THAGTH HER TO LOVE EVERY ONE ESPECIALLY HER GRANDMOTHER BUT NOW I THINK I DID MISTAKE WITH THAT BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT SHE DOESNT LOVE ME ANY MORE :( IS DEPRESSING ME NOW PLEASE HELP ME..IAM OPEN TO ANY ADVICES THANK YOU. 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